is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just gargled with NyQuil
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
