everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
