Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
