I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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