Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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