doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
