He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
