he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize