So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize