I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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