he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
