Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You have to summon your inner elephant
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Someone came in the potted fern
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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