i don't like sucking hair
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
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I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
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Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just want nice things and good sex
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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