I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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