Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
