"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
