I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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