Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
