Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
