She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
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I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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