Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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