Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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