I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
