Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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