Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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