Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think I won the penis lottery.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize