I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
