weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
