i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
