non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
