I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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