i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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