I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
