I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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