On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize