Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Moan for me like Helen Keller
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
