Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
