Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
