I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize