sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
