never play flip cup with pint glasses
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I will be naked everywhere
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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