I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize