Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
