he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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