he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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