When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
