So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
