I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I don't want my vagina anymore.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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