Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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