the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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