But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
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