I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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