so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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