Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
