I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
