Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
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Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
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my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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