see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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