he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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