I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
